That Good-Natured Midwest Sense of Humor

Kirsten's RT... next to a sleek rally wanna-be ride.

This is a kinder, gentler rally.  There is no trickery.  The hidden bonus location for Friday night was on the front page, first paragraph of the rally pack.  Yet this morning, the Rallymasters wanted to know if 125 bonus locations for a 24-hour rally was enough.  After some uncertain nods, they said, “Well, come on up.” Just in case, they had added a Saturday morning special bonus, with some common Rallymaster reminders.  Your rally flag must be in every photo.  If you are one of the two-up riding teams, one of you must be in the picture.  “It doesn’t matter who, you can switch if you like,” said Connie.  “Do we get extra points if the most attractive person is in the photo?” asked Mikala of the two-up Goldwing team of Chris and Mikayla.  Absolutely! the gathered crowd answered with hoots and claps while the Rallymasters shook their heads.

But the clock was already ticking towards 8:00 a.m.  After a coordinated rider launch, I hopped into the mobile Rally HQ to hot foot it over to said bonus location, only for us to pull up as most of the riders were already pulling out.  Still, after taking some photos of the smallest museum in St. Paul, we enjoyed our bonus points with a side of delicious coffee and pineapple zucchini bread.  These Rallymasters know how to coordinate a bonus location for maximum benefit as the small museum is right outside the fantastic Workhorse Coffee Bar. 

The Saturday “take over” of the smallest museum in St. Paul features the MN1K!  

 This rally is bringing riders to a collection of the strange and interesting.  Not to be left out, this morning mobile Rally HQ made a stop at another Minnesota classic…um, how to describe it…. surplus shop.  The Ax-Man Surplus Shop has a female mannequin riding a rocket hanging from the ceiling, next to a plaster horse head and a bin of glass transistor bulbs labeled, “Worst Anniversary Present Ever, $9.45.”  Around a corner with posters of the “Ladies of the 80s” and red and yellow bins full of blue and black cables, was the bobble head Jesus.  Coons made me take a bonus photo next to him.  I think I’m starting to understand this wry Midwestern humor…..   

“Be EZ on Jeezy”

Dan Roth pre-launch at MN1K Rally HQ.

 The good people at Rally HQ– Motoprimo Motorsports, MN always make a donation to this event to support the purchase of shirts and such, which allows the MN1K to make a larger donation to the Lustgarten Fund.  Fighting pancreatic cancer is a cause near and dear to this rally family.  Motoprimo also has a large showroom, with plenty of space to share with riders and easy access to I-35.  Which is handy.  Even though about half the ramps and some entire sections of the interstates surrounding Rally HQ have closed this weekend for the short window that MN gets to do summer roadwork.  [Rally watchers will remember that this was an issue last year for some non-Waze riders during the Iron Butt Rally 2017 whose HQ was smack in a spaghetti bowl of highways.]  

Tonight, as grey clouds and rain have passed over HQ, we’ve been watching big weather blobs on the radar.  There are tornado warnings in Iowa.  It could be a wet 24 hours.  Randy has received only a handful of calls from riders today, who spread throughout the available locations in the Midwest.  One rider called just to say he’s loving this rally and to thank the Gabricks.  That’s a welcome note as the dark comes on and riders start to consider their options for the minimum 3 hour rest bonus.  Scoring will start at 7:30 a.m. Sunday morning.  Riders need to be back at Rally HQ by 7:59:59.  Those who misjudge the timing will DNF at 8:00 a.m. 

Analog GPS routing

Kirsten’s Spot is making steady progress.  When she called this afternoon, she had already stopped for gas twice.  She checked her tire, and with another 400 miles on it thus far, it still looked good (i.e. no glittery spots).  The rain was holding off, but the fog was thick and the stop and go traffic kept her attention as she made her way to a daylight-only bonus.  Heading into a busy downtown location, Kirsten said, “we’ll see – this could turn into a flower-sniffing ride.”  She had just come from the Museum of Torture (“I swear I’m NOT going in there - I don’t care how many points it’s worth”) and got a tip from an employee at another spot (“the guy before you said he had to have his flag in the photo”).  Too bad for one rider who left his flag 100 miles behind him.  His face will become his flag for the duration.  And tonight, riders will be looking for the pieces of calm between the storms and the bonus locations to line up a path to the finish.

MN1K

If you push the seat alll the way back, John Coons will fit in a Prius.  Well, mostly.  His knees kind of fold up against the dash.  After driving 1200 miles to Rally HQ for the Minnesota 1000, rally dogs Bela and Riley and I were happy to have a local co-pilot for a driving tour along the river road to the Friday night bonus location. 

Rallymasters Connie and Randy Gabrick have put together an epic rally for their swan song.  After handing out the rally packs for the Minnesota 1000 last night, Connie started the evening by stating, “Ok, this is a big rally.”  Randy concurred, “It’s HUGE,” (after observing the look of dismay from the collective riders, he modified), “well ok, not huge, but it’s large.” After going to sleep at 4:30 a.m. Friday morning, apparently Randy and Connie got up 2 hours later to “finish it up” and get the rally pack to the printers…. Mmm we love the smell of fresh ink on a rally pack.

Normally they provide about 50-60 bonus locations for this 24-hour rally. But this year’s 32 riders have a smorgasbord of 125 bonus locations to choose from.  Riders immediately got to work looking through the selections, noting values, and quickly suiting up to catch early pre-rally points in the special Friday night bonus.  The first must-get location was a group photo on the Mississippi River at 8:45 p.m. last night.  The photo may have in fact set a new record for having three rally dogs present, including Lisa Erbes’ 4-legged rally pro Jake.  There was general sniffing and prancing as the big dogs nodded their heads and scouted the best spot to stand in the group photo.  The riders were there too.  Most had not even finished loading all the bonus locations from the red dot or blue dot flash drives.  So, photo taken, riders scrambled off to finish route planning.  There was a lot to process between last night and the 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning start. 

An unofficial preparatory photo of the Friday night photo bonus - Mississippi River.

John Coons, Kirsten (prepping her rally pack) and Brant Moteelall

Team Strange is a tight group, and it’s nice to be in their home territory.  They have a system that needs little discussion.  In passing out the rally packs, Connie noted, “if you’re new to Team Strange, see Brant.”  Randy’s dad came out – he and I had a nice talk last summer at the Iron Butt Rally where the seeds of a MN1K trip were planted.  And a big shout out to Karol Patzer who appeared at Rally HQ to wish Kirsten and the riders well last night!  When I asked Lisa Erbes how things were going, just weeks away from the launch of Butt Lite 2018, she said that it’s all pretty smooth.  They recently ordered the shirts with very little discussion she said.  “Maybe we’re all one brain now.” 

In the family spirit, Team Strange and the MN1K use their powers for good.  Riders were able to get early early points (as long as they don’t forget to claim them at scoring on Sunday) by making a donation in support of Arlene’s fund.  Arlene Liska, a pioneer in long-distance riding, rode from Alaska to the tip of South America with her husband in the 1960s, and a few years later, rode from Norway to the bottom of Africa.  Now in her 90s, Team Strange has declared this the year of Arlene, with an opportunity for points-for-donations at every sponsored rally.

As riders pondered their options over BBQ last night, they also considered those things that float through a rider’s brain hours before go, no-go.  One rider is riding a new-to-him 1600 GTL Exclusive on its first rally.  One rider is having pretty irritating back pain.  Dan Roth, lately of the MD 2020, got a flat just a few dozen miles away from home on a fairly new tire.  It had a clean slice, which he was able to patch to carry him through the MN1K.  Kirsten is keeping an eye on her own rear tire.  While routing late last night she mumbled under her breath, “if I hit that one…. Well maybe going this way…. I don’t see a mileage cap….”  It just made me shake my head because I remember a silvery-sparkle on a rear tire after another rally a few years ago – not something a spouse likes to see!  We may be looking at a post-rally tire change to get us home, but in Team Strange territory – there’s no shortage of friends and family! 

Kirsten, Lisa Erbes, and Lyle

Fade to Black

Kirsten and other riders stopping the clock under the canopy of Rally HQ.

The 2018 Winner of the Cheesedick Award!

And the rider in first place for the Mason Dixon 20-20, and the winner of 3 academy awards for his productions during the rally, is Rider #45, James Alton.  Riding just over 1400 miles in 32 hours, and with 75,902 points, he also wins a free draw to the 2021 Iron Butt Rally.  Finishing in 7^th place, with 1464 miles and 71,988 points, and the winner of the academy award for the “Soylent Green Remake,” starring Miss Piggy, is Kirsten.  With 1375 miles, and finishing her first rally in 4^th place is the two-up team of Donna Attanasio and Jeff Wilson.  Winning the much anticipated Cheesedick Award, after his snarky reply to the Rallymaster before all this fun began, is Bruce Edwards!  And riding 840 miles for 35,778 points, and the prize of the “Groundhog Day” academy award (for their loop ride in Pennsylvania, re-taking the same bonus picture every two hours), are Lisa and Paul Turner.  Just before the award dinner, the skies over Rally HQ opened up with drenching rain, thunder, and strobe lighting in a midnight black sky…. 

 

[Screen fades to black as the rally blog computer is pressed into service at the finish to compile the award standings by the academy….]

[24 Hours Ago]

The fickle rally gods frustrated one rider’s finisher attempt late Saturday.  After successfully sending in several bonus photos with his flag, the photos started to come in with no flag but with the rider as stand in.  Having lost his flag, he was gamely carrying on according to protocol, when his cell phone bounced out of the holder while on the road.  He watched it fly over his shoulder, land on the road behind him, and promptly get run over.  After 2 hours spent at a Verizon store getting a new phone, he realized he’d be too late to make the wedding bonus, and decided to call it in to the Rallymaster.  As we were finishing up dinner that night, Rick was heading over to assist the rider in getting his gear out of the storage lock-up so he could head home.  To Florida.  We wish him well on his return trip.

Two other riders later caught the attention of the fickle rally gods.  Todd Lampone broke both of his tires on a block of wood on the road.  Not to let an excellent BBQ (that was already paid for) go to waste, he rode a different bike back to the finisher’s banquet where he received a hearty round of applause.  Dave Arkle, unfortunately, did not make it back for the BBQ, although his bike did have a taste of cow.  Dave apparently saw the first cow on the road, which he missed in time to slow down and hit the 2^nd cow.  When the digital rally watchers inquired, “did everyone make it back to the barn?” Dave replied, “Not quite all – I think I did it wrong.  Cow -1, Dave -0.”  For his troubles however, and for being the only actual cow boy during this rally, Dave was awarded in his absence the “Space Cowboy” academy award to a rousing cheer from the assembled BBQ eaters.

 

Winner of the "Space Cowboy" award - Rider #2, who plans to heal for a few weeks and ride the Butt Lite in July...
on a different bike.

Nearly all of the MD 20-20 riders rode over 1000 miles, despite having to stop on occasion to wring out gloves, dump out boots, and generally shake the steam out of their jackets.  There were 39 finishers, some of whom, late into the night, were still shaking their heads that there wasn’t an “Easter egg” in the rally book.  Chuckling, Rick said, “I told you there was nothing hidden unless you made it up yourself.”  To which several replied, “But you always say that!  I had to stop at the [rest area, Waffle House, my rest bonus at 1:00 a.m…..] to re-read the whole book again because I just couldn’t believe it!”  Yes my friends, the 2018 was a straight forward rally with built-in complexity from the production combos. 

Next year’s Penultimate (i.e. 2^nd to the last) rally will bring riders the leftovers, which Rick said he hopes we all enjoy.  Knowing that he has a 6” binder with every rally pack from the last 19 rallies (but without any power point slides), this rally watcher thinks 2019 could bring the best hits, or maybe all those bonus locations he STILL hasn’t had a chance to use, or even a re-do of the diner tour requiring that any leftover sausage is presented at scoring.  If you love leftovers, keep your eyes peeled to the casting call for the 2019 MD 20-20.  You might even make it past Groundhog Day and ride out of Pennsylvania.   

[Fade to black.  Roll credits.]

This production of the Mason Dixon 20-20 was brought to you by: 

Casa Shambles Productions
TWOONGSA Productions
Alan Smithee Productions
Shade Tree Productions
and 404Found Productions, a Division of Outhouse Media
with many more...

Saturday (2030): Just Say I Do

The first rider call came at 6:45 a.m. this morning, with several more following in quick succession.  Apparently one of the memorials at a bonus location (a memorial the size of a car) has moved.  Riders will take a picture of the sign, and have called in to notify the Rallymaster.  These things happen despite the best efforts of staff to confirm each bonus.  Bonus locations are available all over the Mid-Atlantic.  A must get – as MD 20-20 Rally veterans know—is Fort Indiantown Gap National Cemetery.  Riders are required to visit the grave of Jim Young, a founding father of the MD 20-20, and perhaps say a word or two in honor of the service given by those buried in this 677-acre site.  It is Memorial Day weekend after all.

 

Apparently over half of the riders chose to gather for a group photo bonus in NC, contributing to the Wedding Crasher production theme.  Mike Baker and Tina Venters, who completed her first IBR in 2017 got married today and a few dozen of their closest friends on two-wheels decided to crash the party!  

  

Guests arrived for the afternoon ceremony must have wondered why there was a giant Mason Dixon 20-20 Rally banner staked out on the lawn.  The bride gave purple tiaras to all the riders to wear in the photo.  Princess Meghan has nothing on these beauties!  When those of us at Rally HQ received the photo, we all wondered why the groom was making such a funny face.  Turns out, they were all yelling “Cheesedick!”  Three times.  At the top of their lungs.  The wedding photographer was a bit shocked at first, then just doubled over laughing.  Hugs all around for the wet and sweaty riders and the other rider / guests, and it was back on the road.  The point value for this time-restricted bonus location, “My Big Fat BMW Wedding” is 708 points.  The memories will be priceless.

When Kirsten called in tonight from the road, she asked, “have you ever seen a rainbow in the middle of a sunset?  It’s incredible!”  Unfortunately, that also means that she and the rest of the pack leaving NC are riding through bands of rain and thunderstorms.  In our hotel near Rally HQ tonight, the rally pups and I were surprised when the hotel fire alarm went off for a couple minutes.  There was no emergency, but lightening had hit something nearby, causing the alarm.  It looks like part of the group will continue to ride through nasty weather at least until about 1:00 a.m. tonight.  Scoring begins at 11:30 a.m. Sunday morning.  We may need to have towels and boot driers at scoring in addition to lunch.  There might even be wedding cake.

Bonus Location LO19, Available Saturday, 5:30 p.m. ONLY.  Congratulations Mike and Tina!  

Saturday (0730): The Opening Scene

These riders are motivated!  By 0430 (4:30 a.m.), riders were already moving their bikes into the staging area of Rally HQ, Martinsburg WV and heading in for some breakfast (with MANY thanks for the hotel staff who came in at 3:30 this morning to get it all ready for them!).  There were a few bleary eyes, and the usual number of questions, and by 0600, most riders were pulling out as the sun was starting to shine through some gathering clouds. 

There are 44 starting riders.  This is a 32-hour rally with riders facing DNF (Did Not Finish) if they do not return to Rally HQ by 1400 (2:00 p.m.) tomorrow afternoon.  For those used to multi-day rallies, this is a compressed schedule.  Comparing shorter timed rallies to multi-day rallies, rally veterans claim it’s pretty much like “riding with your hair on fire” for 32 hours.  There is very little room for error.  In a longer multi-day rally there is a bit more time to make up mistakes, time to reroute, time to perhaps eat something other than whatever is melting inside your tank bag.  On a short rally, for competitors, luxuries such as those are few.  The strategy is to review the rally pack, plan your route, and ride like hell.  In this case, being Memorial Day weekend in the Mid-Atlantic, riders will be sharing the roads with hundreds of thousands of tired workers beating feet to escape the city.  There will be small town road closures for parades, and whole portions of large towns (i.e. Washington DC) closed for events such as Rolling Thunder.  In other words, riders must also carefully plan their routes and timing to avoid sitting in endless miles of holiday traffic on I-95 going nowhere fast. 

 

Before coffee and the 0515 rider’s meeting, riders had sorted through screens of bonus locations to create a route that will give them a unique combination of points, efficient riding, and for this production – actors, directors and locations for a successful production!  Each rider has declared their production company.  Kirsten’s is 404Found Productions, a Division of Outhouse Media.  And we’re trying something new on this year’s production – digital photo submission and no Spot Tracker!  But have no fear, I still have a steady stream of tracking data coming through with photos via SpotWalla Bubbler.  About half of the riders chose the digital option this year, so their bonus location photos are automatically being sent to their digital rider folder as they are created.  Rally staff can review them ahead of time, which will help keep scoring moving along at the finish.  And for 404Found Productions, it’s nice to see a regular stream of images as the rally production progresses!  We’ll tune in later today for an update from the field.

Allen Hatcher and Eric Bray wrapping up morning bike staging duties.

Co-producer rally pups Bela and Riley provided wiggling words of wisdom in the wee hours.

Dinner and a Movie

“Welcome to the 19^th running of the Mason Dixon 20-20 Rally!”  With that, Rallymaster Rick Miller kicked off the evening’s dinner for participants from across the country.  For John Frick, 2018 will be his 18^th MD 20-20 rally.  This is Craig Brooks’ 5^th, and Dan Roth’s 7^th time riding above and below the Mason Dixon.  Several hardy souls have come back this year to ride their 2^nd, including two-up team Andrew and Ashley.  And for a handful of MD 20-20 rookies, the fun is just beginning.

This year’s theme is “DirectionallyChallenged” and invites participants to, “assemble the best cast and crew around the best screenplay using the best available sets and backdrops; well, the best you can afford.   Among the bonus list, you should find everything you need: talent, locations, musical directors, writers, extras, effects and of course directors.”  This is a complex, multi-dimensional combo bonus rally.  At the finish on Sunday, participants will present their “productions” for the weekend with the awards ceremony to follow. 

  

The opening dinner of the 2018 Mason Dixon 20-20 at Rally HQ, Martinsburg, WV

Rally staff and participants completed check-in in good order, Eric Bray shepherding folks through the odo check.  Lots of “I remember when” stories flowed through the dinner hour.  Bill Wade and Jim Owen spent time trying to pair Jim’s phone to his Garmin.  Others pulled up the weather radar to take a look a hurricane brewing in FL.  “It’s just squeezing together and gonna come north and get us!” said Jim.  

The rider’s meeting was able to be moved up an hour following dinner, giving everyone more time to rest, repack, or rethink their routes before staging their bike at 4:45 a.m. tomorrow.  As is the case, there are always questions, good questions that clarify and will help keep riders safe in the coming days.  And then there are the other questions.  The questions that earn you a nomination for the annual Cheesedick Award (complete with pink feather tiara and wand).  Questions like Ron Perlik’s, “What happens if we go to the Groundhog Day bonus, and we can’t get past Saturday?”  Pause.  Rick exclaims, “This year the pool of nominees for the Cheesedick Award is very wide and very deep!”  But it’s all in good fun.  So with visions of actors and directors and production plans swimming in their heads, the riders exited stage right.  There is an early production call for the 5:15 a.m. rider’s meeting, coffee to follow!    

The Shake Down

Nearly 10 months, 1 move, 1 winter of furloughs and nor’easters, and we find ourselves once again a day out from heading to a Rally HQ.  This weekend, we’ll be rejoining the fabulous crew for the Mid-Atlantic’s Mason Dixon 20-20 Rally. 

In an odd turn of events, Kirsten was temporarily re-located to the frozen, fallen-tree filled, powerless for weeks tundra of Pennsylvania for the winter, leaving her new rally bike parked (gasp!) at home until just a few weeks ago.  We know other friends and rally pros who have literally parked their bike after more than one Iron Butt Rally, only to pull it out again a year later for the next IBR (Chris Sakala knows who they are, but we’re not naming names).  Those are proven rally bikes.  This bike doesn’t even have additional headlights or an onboard rider hydration system. 

Tonight, Kirsten is going down her list of Things Not to Do the Night Before a Rally:

•          Don’t change major parts on your bike (a new seat and handlebar risers, never tested, don’t count right)
•           Don’t rewire elements critical to your routing (like the GPS and phone system, which are not exactly functional at this point)
•           Don’t install new software (hours of updates to the rally computer are complete)
•           Don’t test out new gear (check!  It’s the same jacket, but has it been washed since Minneapolis….?)
•           Don’t worry about riding with a stock gas tank (ummm, ok, though it brings her from a 400+ mile range with the old aux tank to a 250 mile range… at least we think so).
•           Don’t be distracted – focus on the rally (Memorial Day weekend at a National Battlefield is kind of a busy time; she may need to dip into park mode in between bonus locations, but that shouldn’t be distracting at all)

Needless to say, this is shaping up to be a fine rider - new bike shake down cruise.  (For those who may not recall the events that brought us to bid farewell to the previous rally bike and most of its custom farkles – read the blog posts from the 2017 IBR.  You might want to start at the beginning.)  However, the new bike, a stock 2015 BMW R1200RT, is smooth.  It has bells and whistles (literally – don’t try to move it without turning off the alarm).  It sure is pretty.  And it’s getting its adornments to launch into its new role as rally stead.  Tonight, the little hand-felted lamb from IBA Ireland last year was installed on the dash.  The old tank bag though is not fitting quite as smoothly.  In fact, we’re not even sure how to attach it at the moment.  But hey, we’ve got less than 24 hours to get it all squared away.  Plenty of time – almost as long as the rally itself!  

The new rally bike, a stock 2015 BMW R1200RT, on a recent trial run.